thank you for the music, maestro...

luciano pavarotti 1935-2007

worcester to charleston

The horrific fire in Charleston this week made me pause and reflect. What a horrible tragedy for the entire town. There is not one person in the greater Charleston area that will not be affected by the loss of nine firefighters in some way, even if they never knew these people.

In 1999, December 3rd, to be exact, the Worcester Cold Storage Warehouse went up in flames. It was a fire started by two homeless people seeking shelter from the chill. At the time, I was living about a mile from the scene, but I was on the other side of town with some friends that evening. Yes, I remember...we'd all gone out for coffee after a particularly stressful week at work, which turned into going for dinner and simply venting and laughing and kvetching about the stress and dysfunction that the school administration poured on us.

Yeah, right. The next 48 hours showed us we knew nothing about real stress. Everything is relative.

I remember getting out of my car and hearing sirens. Now Worcester is a city of nearly 200, 000, so sirens had always been a part of life. Nothing unusual there. But then I kept hearing warning blasts from a fire truck horn, and thinking, "Hm, I wonder what's going on?"

About that moment, I noticed the acrid smell of something burning, and looked up to see the night sky thick and dense with smoke. I went into my apartment, turned on the TV, and it was everywhere on the news: The Cold Storage Warehouse was burning, and six firefighters were unaccounted for. By the end of the weekend, they had been found and identified...and it was awful.

I didn't know them well personally...but I knew them on sight. Several had conducted fire drills in some of the schools that I'd worked in...another had come to give the kids at a special needs summer camp rides on the truck...a couple more had frequented the diner where I used to play on the weekends. And now they were history.

There was a pall over the city of Worcester that lasted well into January. There was no Christmas that year in my city...malls were strangely quiet, the hubbub and pace of the commercial Christmas was missing. Ironically, churches were full. Hands reached out to the families, the brotherhood of firefighters who were hurting so badly. The Today Show covered our story. Bill Clinton himself showed up for the memorial service, not that that gesture endeared him to me any more...but it shows you the magnitude of our loss. The procession to the service was more than an hour long, and included firefighters from all over the country...and from Canada...Belfast, Dublin, London...it was overwhelming. There was not a dry eye along the route downtown. TO not be touched by this, you must have been made of granite. To this day, I cringe when I hear bagpipes playing "Amazing Grace." And I was just a simple citizen, with no personal emotional tie, except that the loss to our city was huge.

So Charleston has been heavy on my heart these days. They will experience that which we did almost nine years ago.

Father, please be very present in the city of Charleston, just as you were in Worcester. Lord, please hold them through the grieving, which is going to be considerable. And when the weeping is at last over, Lord, please show them joy in the morning, in Your time, which is always the best time. Send angels in the form of humans to hold them through this season. In the name of Jesus, we pray,

and AMEN.

okay...had to try it...

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

jus' sayin...

Just a few random thoughts (thots) running through my pea brain while i wait for the State of Kentucky to get its act together and give me a start date for my job...

When gas prices jump 10 cents in 24 hours, that is a problem. I grudgingly paid 2.74 a gallon yesterday, and 10 dollars gave me a whopping quarter of a tank. This morning gas is 2.84 at the same station. There is absolutely no reason for this. Where is the outrage? How can we as consumers make our voices heard? If anyone has any ideas, I'd love to hear them.

It is ridiculously hard to be 1100 miles away from friends when they are in crisis. However, it makes me pray harder.

People in Kentucky look at me suspiciously when I am driving...could it be my Massachusetts license plate? (BTW-- all the stories heard about crazy Boston drivers are NOTHING in comparison to the way some of the people down here drive. OMG!).

On that note, although these roads down here STILL make no sense to me, I AM starting to find my way around a bit better. No catastrophic detours lately. Given the gas prices, that is a very good thing.

A sign that I am adjusting to Kentucky dialect...I only have momentary struggles now to contain my giggles when Pastor Dan uses the expression "swole up" in his sermons. However, I continue to keep my vow to nevah nevah use that expression for real...EVAH!! Oh, and for those of you who have not experienced that little phrase, "swole up" means to be agitated, irritated, bothered...you get the gist of it, right? No, it is NOT found in Merriam-Webster.

One thing I will never adjust to...The sight and smell of country hams hanging in little nets in the grocery store...far away from the refrigerated stuff. It's just wrong...on so many levels. Vegetarianism has its obstacles down here. On the plus side, I've lost some weight. :)

The trees here are especially beautiful right now. Everything is full and green and vibrant. Really pretty.

Mail carriers wearing their summer outfits and safari-like sun helmets are always a pretty sight. I could be biased, but...

I'm gonna stop here. I need coffee. And a job. Or two.


Jus' sayin.

transitions, part one

Hold it Up to the Light

lyrics and music by David Wilcox

It's the choice of a lifetime - I'm almost sure

I will not live my life in between anymore

If I can't be certain of all that's in store

This far it feels so right

I will hold it up - hold it up to the light,

Hold it up to the light, hold it up to the light

The search for my future has brought me here

This is more than I'd hoped for, but sometimes I fear

That the choice I was made for will someday appear

And I'll be too late for that flight

So I hold it up - hold it up to the light,

Hold it up to the light, hold it up to the light

It's too late - to be stopped at the crossroads

Each life here - a possible way

But wait - and they all will be lost roads

Each road's getting shorter the longer I stay

Now as soon as I'm moving - my choice is good

This way comes through right where I prayed that it would

If I keep my eyes open and look where I should

Somehow all of the signs are in sight

If I hold it up to the light

I said God, will you bless this decision?

I'm scared, Is my life at stake?

But I see if you gave me a vision

Would I never have reason to use my faith?

I was dead with deciding - afraid to choose

I was mourning the loss of the choices I'd lose

But there's no choice at all if I don't make my move

And trust that the timing is right

Yes and hold it up hold it up to the light

Hold it up to the light, hold it up to the light

I think David Wilcox is one of the reasons I abandoned trying to be a songwriter. :) I don't mean that negatively.

I just mean that this man says things that I long to, and just so much more eloquently. And this song has been stuck in my head for the past three weeks, because I made the decision to create a timeline, and embark on a new life, in a new region, new home, new church, new everything. It's all a bit surreal at the moment.

I'm moving to Kentucky. KENTUCKY!! The MID-SOUTH!!! You know, where the summers are looong, and hot....and people move very slowly....Good Lord, is this area ready for this type-A, restless, quick-talking Northeasterner?

Yes, I'm a New Englander. I was born and raised in Boston, and have lived in the central part of the state for most of my adult life. I love the city, I love the hustle and bustle and the constant energy that urban areas bubble with. And then there is the family issue...well, as you get older, the people you choose to be close to become more precious to you. Ten years ago I reconnected with one of my brothers, and one of my aunts, after seven years of separation. It wasn't that we were angry with each other...let's just say that too much chaos and a large chunk of tragedy had worn us down, and much like battle-fatigued soldiers, we simply ended up in a survival mode that did not allow for any real contact. But it's all good now, and I would be lying if I said I did not have a substantial amount of separation anxiety at this point in time. We as humans tend to avoid discomfort if we can...and I cannot avoid this, so all I can do is accept the strange knot in my stomach, and concentrate on the upbeat points of this move--and they are many, many, many. Love is the main reason. Like the songwriter above, I asked God to "bless this decision." Yes, there is trepidation...not about this man that I am going to be with...but of the package as a whole. Will I assimilate? Will I adjust to living in a smaller town? Will I keep my identity? Will I become the Proverbs 31 woman I pray I can be? Yes...it does feel like "my life at stake" here...but a leap of faith is required for the future I had prayed so hard for, and indeed, had almost given up on. And suddenly, God moved, and showed me something, someone that was more than I had ever dared hope for.

So throughout this next chunk of time, I will pack, clean, put stuff in storage. I will press on through the anxiety of goodbye. I will trust that God is holding both of us, and our future, in His hands. He will take care of my brother and my aunt, my friends, and my clients...the little people who truly are His least ones. And so much better than I ever could. And when the doubt kicks in, I will hold it up to the light.

Blessings to you all,

sail

amazing...check it out

I had a job interview yesterday at Monroe Carell Children's Hospital in Nashville. It's part of the Vanderbilt University Medical Center. I imagine that if you have children you just hope and pray and do your part to ensure that they grow up happy healthy and productive...but if you have to go through a time when you have a sick child, man, this is the place that you want them to get their care. What a place!!! There is nothing that they haven't thought of in terms of being child-friendly and family-centered. It no more looks like a hospital than Toys R Us does. Yet they are on the cutting edge of patient care, and they are amazingly holistically-oriented (by that I mean caring for the WHOLE child and family, not anything new-age or weird).

Check out their website and you will see a bit of the amazing place that is Vanderbilt Children's.

www.vanderbiltchildrens.com

only a glimpse

Maranatha

Michael Card

(I Thessalonians 4:16)

Maranatha is a cry of the heart

That's hopeful yet weary of waiting

While it may be joyful with the burdens it bears

It's sick with anticipating

To long for the Promised One day after day

And the promise that soon He'd return

It's certain that waiting's the most bitter lesson

A believing heart has to learn

Chorus:

Maranatha, How many more moments must this waiting last

Maranatha, we long for the time when all time is past

A commotion, a call then that will be all

Though it's not yet the hour

The minutes are ticking away

Maranatha is the shout of the few

Who for so long in history've been hiding

Who truly believe that the sound of that call

Might actually hasten His coming

For no eye has seen and no ear has yet heard

And no mind has ever conceived

The joy of the moment when He will appear

To the wonder of all who believe

Chorus:

Maranatha, how hungry we are just to see Your face

Parousia, to finally fall in one long embrace

A commotion, a call and that will be all

Though it's not yet the hour

The minutes are ticking away

Of all the Christian contemporary artists out there, Michael Card is by far my favorite. Not only does he provide me with biblical material to ponder, his music, his voice, his creativity are incredible. This is an older song, from somewhere in the 1990's, but it still remains one of my favorites. The disc is entitled "Present Reality" and I would encourage you to check it out, along with anything else he has done.

Okay, obviously this is all about longing for the coming of Christ, and how amazing it will be when we are finally with Him. No arguments from me! Endless communion with Him, infinite praise and worship...I'm there!

But (and feel free to disagree with me, here) I think this applies down here on earth too. I don't mean that this particular verse says that...but the lyrics of this song always remind me of how important it is to have time with our brothers and sisters, loved ones, better halves... :(). Consider the people that you don't see often enough; those people for whom you yearn. After a time of being apart, that reunion is just incredibly, almost painfully sweet.

Yesterday, although I was certainly not "caught up in the clouds, " I was flying in them. It was a gray, thickly-clouded, typical New England afternoon in November when I boarded the plane for Nashville. After slight turbulence, 30 minutes in a holding pattern over Detroit, a barely-made connection, absolutely NO air in the cabin (gasp, gasp, koff koff...), and luggage lost (but found! You GO, Northwest Airlines), I was FINALLY on the ground in Nashville, just a hair later than scheduled. I was queasy, clammy and a tad dizzy (yes, I know...some would say dizzy is my natural state. I roll my eyes expansively at all of youse), and thankfully, I had about an hour to recover before being met by the object of my affection. :) BTW, never underestimate the curative powers of pure ginger candy for post-flight tummy woes.

I sat against a pole in baggage claim, looking at the door as people came and went, studying anybody who was about his height and build (is that him?? No, he walks faster than that...nope...that's not him either). Finally, he emerged through the automatic doors, and my heart quickened.

When we finally fell into that long embrace, I could feel tears starting at the backs of my eyes. JOY! It is pure joy to be reunited with someone you love after a time of being apart. And this is only a glimpse of the joy that awaits us when all is said and done. JOY UNSPEAKABLE.

But while we wait, I will treasure and give thanks for these reunions. And for those of you whom I've not seen in a while, I joyfully anticipate reuniting with you, hopefully very soon.

In the meantime, may He pour out His joy upon you, this Thanksgiving week, and always. I am thankful beyond belief for Him...and for all of you.

~sail~