God puts into each of us a capacity to love.Nothing earthshattering there...you may crown me Queen Obvious, if you wish...
But some people shut off that capacity to love and be loved...they turn it off like a faucet. I have family members like that, and alas, I have loved men like that in the past...but nevermore! :)
I've come to the conclusion (again, thus saith the Queen o' Obvious), that it must take an incredible amount of energy to live such an inauthentic (is that a word? for real?) life.
And I don't want it. Thanks, but no thanks. I'm full.
Last night I had the privilege of having some prayer time with a group of close friends, and some whom I've never even met before. People shared joys and concerns, there was laughter, there were tears, and moments where the heartache for each other was so intense that it literally brought us to our knees. Painful? Yes. Worth the pain? Without a doubt.
Like most people, I have had my heart broken more times that I can count, in male-female relationships, family relationships, and in circumstances due to the brokenness of this world. Love comes at a hefty price, in whatever form it takes. For example, I work with severely handicapped children. Over the past few years, three of these little ones have gone home to be with the Lord. Gut-wrenching loss...and that's just how WE, the clinicians felt...how much more must the families have experienced. It's almost beyond my comprehension. Of course they're in a better place...and my heart rejoices to know that. But the pain of loss HURTS, man, and I believe that it's a good practice to acknowledge that fact and deal with it, rather than stuff it and pretend that there is no emotion around it whatsoever. There is a huge danger in compartmentalizing strong emotion...putting it dispassionately into a box, shoving it into the dark recesses of your mental/emotional closet and pretending it doesn't exist, like a red-headed stepchild. It's how depression, addictions, hopelessness are fed. Bring it into the light, where it belongs, and can be healed. Whatever the pain is, acknowledge it, look it squarely in the face, allow the pain to come so you can be ministered to.
Along with love comes vulnerability. Vulnerable to the one(s) you love, who will see you warts and all, vulnerable to the effects of pain, vulnerable to the healing process which can often be, ah, uncomfortable. Again, is it worth it? For sure. In our weakness is His greatest strength...does that ring a bell? :)
So last night, I was overwhelmed with love and tenderness towards the group of people with whom I prayed. We have shared light-hearted, almost comedic times together prior to this...and some more serious moments. But the depth of the communion with each other, and with the Lord last night, was breath-taking. And in spite of the tears, the pain we shouldered for each other--indeed, BECAUSE of that...it was one of the most incredible times I've spent with these people.
I am thankful that God has called us to an abundant life...even when I'm not so thrilled about pain. What I am rediscovering, and it almost feels like discovering this for the first time, is that love, tenderness towards others, is worth all the pain that comes with it.
Imagine how much HE loves us...
Sail
But some people shut off that capacity to love and be loved...they turn it off like a faucet. I have family members like that, and alas, I have loved men like that in the past...but nevermore! :)
I've come to the conclusion (again, thus saith the Queen o' Obvious), that it must take an incredible amount of energy to live such an inauthentic (is that a word? for real?) life.
And I don't want it. Thanks, but no thanks. I'm full.
Last night I had the privilege of having some prayer time with a group of close friends, and some whom I've never even met before. People shared joys and concerns, there was laughter, there were tears, and moments where the heartache for each other was so intense that it literally brought us to our knees. Painful? Yes. Worth the pain? Without a doubt.
Like most people, I have had my heart broken more times that I can count, in male-female relationships, family relationships, and in circumstances due to the brokenness of this world. Love comes at a hefty price, in whatever form it takes. For example, I work with severely handicapped children. Over the past few years, three of these little ones have gone home to be with the Lord. Gut-wrenching loss...and that's just how WE, the clinicians felt...how much more must the families have experienced. It's almost beyond my comprehension. Of course they're in a better place...and my heart rejoices to know that. But the pain of loss HURTS, man, and I believe that it's a good practice to acknowledge that fact and deal with it, rather than stuff it and pretend that there is no emotion around it whatsoever. There is a huge danger in compartmentalizing strong emotion...putting it dispassionately into a box, shoving it into the dark recesses of your mental/emotional closet and pretending it doesn't exist, like a red-headed stepchild. It's how depression, addictions, hopelessness are fed. Bring it into the light, where it belongs, and can be healed. Whatever the pain is, acknowledge it, look it squarely in the face, allow the pain to come so you can be ministered to.
Along with love comes vulnerability. Vulnerable to the one(s) you love, who will see you warts and all, vulnerable to the effects of pain, vulnerable to the healing process which can often be, ah, uncomfortable. Again, is it worth it? For sure. In our weakness is His greatest strength...does that ring a bell? :)
So last night, I was overwhelmed with love and tenderness towards the group of people with whom I prayed. We have shared light-hearted, almost comedic times together prior to this...and some more serious moments. But the depth of the communion with each other, and with the Lord last night, was breath-taking. And in spite of the tears, the pain we shouldered for each other--indeed, BECAUSE of that...it was one of the most incredible times I've spent with these people.
I am thankful that God has called us to an abundant life...even when I'm not so thrilled about pain. What I am rediscovering, and it almost feels like discovering this for the first time, is that love, tenderness towards others, is worth all the pain that comes with it.
Imagine how much HE loves us...
Sail
3 comments:
So true, so true! And real love on our part toward others is only possible because of His love for us--I Jn 4:19
Great post, sail! Make me cry, why don't you? I never want that faucet to be turned off - I want to overflow with His love toward others around me. How very sad for those who can turn that off and on like a light switch. Jesus bled and died so we could have that love, and I for one don't want to waste it!! :)
I hate crying and pain in general but lately I'm learning how necessary it is for healing. And love is so much better than ambivelence, I don't want to waste it either.
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